Luther Cares: A Play
What if people had practiced 'active listening' during the Reformation? What if leaders had sympathetically tried to understand what the other side was saying, and then responded with an abundance of concern and self-awareness? That's the premise behind Luther Cares: A Play.
Copyright of text and photos by Martin Lohrmann, 2018. All rights reserved.
Copyright of text and photos by Martin Lohrmann, 2018. All rights reserved.
Scene 1: Church Suggestion Box, 1517
Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to these scenes from the Lutheran Reformation, which began 500 years ago. While we know that the Reformation brought a lasting split between Protestants and Catholics (and between Protestants and other Protestants), here we dare to imagine what might have happened if people had practiced “active listening” and really tried to listen to each other's feelings during the Reformation. We begin with the young Dr. Martin Luther bringing his concerns about indulgences to the attention of his local archbishop.
Martin Luther (ML) enters a church office, carrying sheets of paper. A man at a standing desk—Brother Klaus (BK)—looks up pleasantly when Luther arrives. Luther collects himself and approaches the desk.
ML: Guten Tag. I am Doctor Martin Luther, Augustinian brother. I have a matter of Christian faith and practice to bring to the attention of the archdiocese.
BK: Yes, Brother Luther. Welcome! What can we do for you?
ML: I’m here to talk about indulgences. Am I in the right place for that?
BK: Certainly. My name is Brother Klaus, I work here at the Cathedral and report right to the archbishop. Well, actually, I report to a priest who works for a canon who was appointed by the provost, who once saw the archbishop. But it’s almost the same thing. What’s up?
ML: I work in Wittenberg.
BK: Ooh. One of our wittiest burgs! Charming.
ML: I’ve noticed that people in town are going to nearby villages to buy indulgences authorized by the archbishop.
BK: Yes, the St. Peter’s Indulgence.
ML: Right. Well, I wonder what the people are being sold.
BK: An indulgence reduces, in whole or in part, the temporal penalty for sins committed whose spiritual guilt has already been forgiven through the sacrament of penance.
ML: Yes, of course. I know that. You know that. But the common folk think that they’re buying salvation for themselves or their loved ones.
BK: No! Now that would be unfortunate.
ML: I know, right?
BK: We certainly do not want money and religion getting mixed up in anyone’s minds.
ML, relieved: Exactly!
BK: I will make a note of this. Anything else I should know about?
ML: Well, not to accuse anyone of anything, but I’m wondering if these ideas about indulgences are not mere misconceptions. I’ve heard that the preachers themselves are making these wild claims about indulgences in order to boost sales.
BK: Now that would be a problem.
ML: Yes, if it were true, it would be a scandal to the faithful. I trust the archbishop would want to put an immediate stop to it.
BK: Of course.
ML: Now, to put the best construction on it, maybe some of the indulgence sellers are working on commission. Times are tough everywhere. You can’t blame a brother—Dominican brothers, I believe in this case—who are looking for a little extra coin. To share back at the monastery, of course.
BK: Naturally.
ML: But here’s where I wonder if there’s more to it…
BK: Like what?
ML: I mean, it makes me feel like a paranoid conspiracy theorist to even think it…
BK: Go ahead. This is a safe place.
ML: All right. I’m just wondering about connecting money and forgiveness. Why is there any money in the remission of guilt at all? What if we took money out of the equation altogether? Would anyone object?
BK: I can’t imagine anyone will mind you asking the question.
ML: Right. It never hurts to ask.
BK: Like I said, this is a safe space for these kinds of whistle-blower issues. How would you like to make your question known?
ML: Well, I’ve written up some thoughts about indulgences that cover my concerns pretty well.
BK: Excellent! We have a suggestion box for precisely that kind of thing.
ML: Cool. I’ll just put it in here then. [Luther puts a large piece of paper in the box].
BK: Yes, and I’ll make sure it gets to the right people as soon as possible.
ML: Thank you. I already feel a lot better.
BK: You’re very welcome. Safe travels.
[Luther leaves, satisfied. All of a sudden Klaus gets worried]
BK: Now… where did I put that key?
Narrator: None of that happened. What happened was that Luther mailed the 95 Theses to a handful of friends and church officials, including Archbishop Albrecht of Mainz, on October 31, 1517. The archbishop forwarded it to Rome. Instead of addressing Luther’s questions, this made the controversy worse, especially since Luther and the 95 Theses became increasingly popular in Germany. As the conflict grew, some theologians sought to defend the church from Luther’s ideas. The most famous of these guys was John Eck, who held an academic debate with Luther in Leipzig in 1519. Eck got Luther to admit that Luther believed the church, popes and councils could make mistakes. Now the debate was not about indulgences but about the church and its authority. In the next section, though [Scene 2], we imagine what would have happened if instead of talking about church authority, Eck and Luther had talked about what mattered the most: their feelings.
Martin Luther (ML) enters a church office, carrying sheets of paper. A man at a standing desk—Brother Klaus (BK)—looks up pleasantly when Luther arrives. Luther collects himself and approaches the desk.
ML: Guten Tag. I am Doctor Martin Luther, Augustinian brother. I have a matter of Christian faith and practice to bring to the attention of the archdiocese.
BK: Yes, Brother Luther. Welcome! What can we do for you?
ML: I’m here to talk about indulgences. Am I in the right place for that?
BK: Certainly. My name is Brother Klaus, I work here at the Cathedral and report right to the archbishop. Well, actually, I report to a priest who works for a canon who was appointed by the provost, who once saw the archbishop. But it’s almost the same thing. What’s up?
ML: I work in Wittenberg.
BK: Ooh. One of our wittiest burgs! Charming.
ML: I’ve noticed that people in town are going to nearby villages to buy indulgences authorized by the archbishop.
BK: Yes, the St. Peter’s Indulgence.
ML: Right. Well, I wonder what the people are being sold.
BK: An indulgence reduces, in whole or in part, the temporal penalty for sins committed whose spiritual guilt has already been forgiven through the sacrament of penance.
ML: Yes, of course. I know that. You know that. But the common folk think that they’re buying salvation for themselves or their loved ones.
BK: No! Now that would be unfortunate.
ML: I know, right?
BK: We certainly do not want money and religion getting mixed up in anyone’s minds.
ML, relieved: Exactly!
BK: I will make a note of this. Anything else I should know about?
ML: Well, not to accuse anyone of anything, but I’m wondering if these ideas about indulgences are not mere misconceptions. I’ve heard that the preachers themselves are making these wild claims about indulgences in order to boost sales.
BK: Now that would be a problem.
ML: Yes, if it were true, it would be a scandal to the faithful. I trust the archbishop would want to put an immediate stop to it.
BK: Of course.
ML: Now, to put the best construction on it, maybe some of the indulgence sellers are working on commission. Times are tough everywhere. You can’t blame a brother—Dominican brothers, I believe in this case—who are looking for a little extra coin. To share back at the monastery, of course.
BK: Naturally.
ML: But here’s where I wonder if there’s more to it…
BK: Like what?
ML: I mean, it makes me feel like a paranoid conspiracy theorist to even think it…
BK: Go ahead. This is a safe place.
ML: All right. I’m just wondering about connecting money and forgiveness. Why is there any money in the remission of guilt at all? What if we took money out of the equation altogether? Would anyone object?
BK: I can’t imagine anyone will mind you asking the question.
ML: Right. It never hurts to ask.
BK: Like I said, this is a safe space for these kinds of whistle-blower issues. How would you like to make your question known?
ML: Well, I’ve written up some thoughts about indulgences that cover my concerns pretty well.
BK: Excellent! We have a suggestion box for precisely that kind of thing.
ML: Cool. I’ll just put it in here then. [Luther puts a large piece of paper in the box].
BK: Yes, and I’ll make sure it gets to the right people as soon as possible.
ML: Thank you. I already feel a lot better.
BK: You’re very welcome. Safe travels.
[Luther leaves, satisfied. All of a sudden Klaus gets worried]
BK: Now… where did I put that key?
Narrator: None of that happened. What happened was that Luther mailed the 95 Theses to a handful of friends and church officials, including Archbishop Albrecht of Mainz, on October 31, 1517. The archbishop forwarded it to Rome. Instead of addressing Luther’s questions, this made the controversy worse, especially since Luther and the 95 Theses became increasingly popular in Germany. As the conflict grew, some theologians sought to defend the church from Luther’s ideas. The most famous of these guys was John Eck, who held an academic debate with Luther in Leipzig in 1519. Eck got Luther to admit that Luther believed the church, popes and councils could make mistakes. Now the debate was not about indulgences but about the church and its authority. In the next section, though [Scene 2], we imagine what would have happened if instead of talking about church authority, Eck and Luther had talked about what mattered the most: their feelings.
Scene 2: The Leipzig Conversation, 1519
Setting the Scene:
John Eck [JE] and Martin Luther gather in a royal hall. On a throne in front of them is Duke George of Saxony [DG]. After introducing this monumental debate, George will mostly just pull out his mobile phone, scrolling and texting on it.
DG: Welcome, everyone, to this discussion of points raised by Dr. Luther and addressed by Dr. Eck. In academic circles, I know you call these things "disputations." But I dare to dream that we might rather call it a "generative conversation.” Dr. Eck, could you please describe how we came to this point of unfortunate controversy?
JE: Gladly, your highness. In late 1517 a friend sent me a copy of Dr. Luther’s theses on indulgences. I thought they raised harmful points about the holy practices of the holy church and its holy teachings. I wrote a note back to my friend saying so. My “friend” published that note, which Dr. Luther then saw. Dr. Luther then wrote a critical response to my note. We’ve gone back and forth about it pretty much ever since then.
ML: There’s a little more to it than that, but that’s the gist of it.
DG: And so, let us begin with this conversation between Dr. John Eck, Dominican brother and professor in Ingolstadt, and Dr. Martin Luther, Augustinian brother and professor in Wittenberg. Dr. Eck, you may begin.
[Eck organizes papers and prepares for what seems to be a serious academic speech. Then he turns to Luther and says,]
JE: Martin, when you criticize the Holy Church in your writings… it just really hurts. You know, it feels like you’re not just talking about a few bad apples but like you’re putting all of us down. And that hurts.
ML: I hear what you’re saying, and I totally get it. I don’t want to hurt anyone.
JE: Thanks, man.
ML: Hurting people would be, like, the exact opposite of what I want to do.
JE: Cool.
ML: Awesome. Can I just say how things look from my point of view? Can I speak my truth here?
JE: Totally.
ML: So, like, as a priest, professor and monk, I feel it’s like my job to teach the right kinds of things about Jesus, and to give reliable spiritual information to the people in my care. Does that make sense?
JE: Yeah, man.
ML: So over time I’ve been taking a lot of care to tell people what matters about Jesus as clearly and accurately as possible—which is basically my job. This has opened my eyes to new things. What I learned was, like, wow. Jesus really sets us free.
JE: Yes! I get that. Jesus is awesome.
ML: Right! So then I look around at all the other stuff we’re doing in our churches and monasteries and I’m like, hold on, this is not what this is all about. You know, people paying money to maybe get time out of purgatory. They can still be jerks all they want, but they pay the money and we say some of their penalty for sin just disappears.
JE: The holy church says that they’re not supposed to be jerks after that, but what can you do?
ML: Exactly. We also tell people who are confessing that they need to do this and then this and then that to get right with God, but then we never actually say when they’ve done enough. I’ve got people asking me if they’re in a state of grace, and I don’t think I’m allowed to tell them anything for sure. Like, it’s against the rules for me to say that God and them are cool.
JE: It is a sin of pride for people to say they’re in a state of grace.
ML: Right. But what if that just makes them depressed?
JE: Then they have sinned against hope. They’ll have something cool to confess the next time around.
ML: Right, but do you see where I’m going with this? No one knows if they’re loved or hated, damned or forgiven. That’s not cool.
JE: I hear what you’re saying and I totally get it. But that’s why the holy church set up things the way they are: the whole thing is designed to keep us on the right path. Holy Church and the holy fathers have said so. Trust the system. You’re always saying that a big part of our religion is about faith and trust, right?
ML: Yeah, I do talk a lot about faith and trust. But here’s my question: who do we trust and why? Where do we put our faith? Speaking for myself: in my own journey, I’ve come to see that if trusting Jesus is more important than “trusting the system.”
JE: Okay. But what’s the difference between Jesus and “trusting the system?” It’s supposed to be the same thing.
ML: But what if it’s not?
JE: Then you’re a heretic.
ML: That’s what I was worried about.
JE: Why would you think there’s a difference between Jesus and the church?
ML: That’s a great question. I think about this all the time. What right do I have to criticize? Well, here’s the thing: I pray, I study, I read the Bible. I’m a priest who hears people’s confessions. I read the fathers; I especially like St. Augustine and St. Bernard. Paying attention to all this has shown me that Jesus is working when real people experience God’s freedom and truth for themselves.
JE: So the gospel is… an experience?... a feeling?
ML: Hmm. Kind of. It’s a real thing that we can feel and know inside of us. Being freed and saved. Getting a new Spirit—the Holy Spirit—inside of us. So yeah, in a way, it’s a feeling. But it’s also more than a feeling.
JE: More than a feeling. What does that even mean?
ML: Well, if it were just a feeling we wouldn’t always know where it comes from or how to get it or if we can even trust it, ya know? Feelings come and go. But we can trust God’s promises in scripture: like when Jesus says, “Go in peace, your faith has made you well. Your sins are forgiven.” Or “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” I mean, did the people Jesus was talking to have to wonder if they were in a state of grace? No way. They totally had that grace and freedom, because Jesus said so.
JE: Those are some of my favorite parts of the Bible, too. But if you’re talking about freedom, then part of the freedom of the way things are now is that we don’t have to wonder or decide what to feel. We can just trust the system. That’s a blessing, too, right? Holy church puts us on the right path. No worries. That’s why it seems to me like your ideas confuse people more than help them. Only heretics want people to leave the right path.
ML: Dude. Did you just use the H word at me… again? Heretic?
JE: Just as a caution, man. Totally hypothetical.
ML: Okay, but that’s the thing. Like, are we heretical as soon as we dare to think that faith is more than just trusting the system?
JE: What’s wrong with the system?
ML: Depends which one.
JE: Why? Does it matter? Just trust the system.
ML: It totally matters. Jesus came to give the gospel, not a to-do list that’s never finished.
JE: So you really are saying there’s a difference between Jesus and the holy church?
ML: Sometimes… Maybe… Yes.
JE: Why would you say that?
ML: Because faith is about love, man. Not rules.
JE: Right, but the church is love. We are SO loving! If you don’t believe the church is love, then just get out of here.
ML: That’s not helpful.
JE: Well, let’s just say I’m not convinced. I don’t see why I should trust Dr. Luther’s opinions more than the time-tested views of God’s one, holy, catholic and apostolic church.
ML: I didn’t say that.
JE: Good.
ML: Fine.
JE: I know.
ML: Fine, then.
DG: It seems our conversation has reached an impasse. Personally, I agree more with Dr. Eck. I don’t want Dr. Luther telling me how to feel.
ML: I never said that!
DG: Anyways, we have to clear the hall now. I’m expecting company. I trust everyone is satisfied?
ML: No!
JE: Not really, but did I just win the conversation?
DG: Totally. But thanks to you both for the fun talk.
Narrator: Narrator: After the Leipzig Disputation, Eck felt he had enough dirt on Luther to get him excommunicated. He went to Rome and worked on the papal bull of excommunication that would make Luther a heretic. His work came to fruition. In scene 3, we hear the bull of excommunication—called Exsurge Domino, after its opening words in Latin—in the form of a song.
John Eck [JE] and Martin Luther gather in a royal hall. On a throne in front of them is Duke George of Saxony [DG]. After introducing this monumental debate, George will mostly just pull out his mobile phone, scrolling and texting on it.
DG: Welcome, everyone, to this discussion of points raised by Dr. Luther and addressed by Dr. Eck. In academic circles, I know you call these things "disputations." But I dare to dream that we might rather call it a "generative conversation.” Dr. Eck, could you please describe how we came to this point of unfortunate controversy?
JE: Gladly, your highness. In late 1517 a friend sent me a copy of Dr. Luther’s theses on indulgences. I thought they raised harmful points about the holy practices of the holy church and its holy teachings. I wrote a note back to my friend saying so. My “friend” published that note, which Dr. Luther then saw. Dr. Luther then wrote a critical response to my note. We’ve gone back and forth about it pretty much ever since then.
ML: There’s a little more to it than that, but that’s the gist of it.
DG: And so, let us begin with this conversation between Dr. John Eck, Dominican brother and professor in Ingolstadt, and Dr. Martin Luther, Augustinian brother and professor in Wittenberg. Dr. Eck, you may begin.
[Eck organizes papers and prepares for what seems to be a serious academic speech. Then he turns to Luther and says,]
JE: Martin, when you criticize the Holy Church in your writings… it just really hurts. You know, it feels like you’re not just talking about a few bad apples but like you’re putting all of us down. And that hurts.
ML: I hear what you’re saying, and I totally get it. I don’t want to hurt anyone.
JE: Thanks, man.
ML: Hurting people would be, like, the exact opposite of what I want to do.
JE: Cool.
ML: Awesome. Can I just say how things look from my point of view? Can I speak my truth here?
JE: Totally.
ML: So, like, as a priest, professor and monk, I feel it’s like my job to teach the right kinds of things about Jesus, and to give reliable spiritual information to the people in my care. Does that make sense?
JE: Yeah, man.
ML: So over time I’ve been taking a lot of care to tell people what matters about Jesus as clearly and accurately as possible—which is basically my job. This has opened my eyes to new things. What I learned was, like, wow. Jesus really sets us free.
JE: Yes! I get that. Jesus is awesome.
ML: Right! So then I look around at all the other stuff we’re doing in our churches and monasteries and I’m like, hold on, this is not what this is all about. You know, people paying money to maybe get time out of purgatory. They can still be jerks all they want, but they pay the money and we say some of their penalty for sin just disappears.
JE: The holy church says that they’re not supposed to be jerks after that, but what can you do?
ML: Exactly. We also tell people who are confessing that they need to do this and then this and then that to get right with God, but then we never actually say when they’ve done enough. I’ve got people asking me if they’re in a state of grace, and I don’t think I’m allowed to tell them anything for sure. Like, it’s against the rules for me to say that God and them are cool.
JE: It is a sin of pride for people to say they’re in a state of grace.
ML: Right. But what if that just makes them depressed?
JE: Then they have sinned against hope. They’ll have something cool to confess the next time around.
ML: Right, but do you see where I’m going with this? No one knows if they’re loved or hated, damned or forgiven. That’s not cool.
JE: I hear what you’re saying and I totally get it. But that’s why the holy church set up things the way they are: the whole thing is designed to keep us on the right path. Holy Church and the holy fathers have said so. Trust the system. You’re always saying that a big part of our religion is about faith and trust, right?
ML: Yeah, I do talk a lot about faith and trust. But here’s my question: who do we trust and why? Where do we put our faith? Speaking for myself: in my own journey, I’ve come to see that if trusting Jesus is more important than “trusting the system.”
JE: Okay. But what’s the difference between Jesus and “trusting the system?” It’s supposed to be the same thing.
ML: But what if it’s not?
JE: Then you’re a heretic.
ML: That’s what I was worried about.
JE: Why would you think there’s a difference between Jesus and the church?
ML: That’s a great question. I think about this all the time. What right do I have to criticize? Well, here’s the thing: I pray, I study, I read the Bible. I’m a priest who hears people’s confessions. I read the fathers; I especially like St. Augustine and St. Bernard. Paying attention to all this has shown me that Jesus is working when real people experience God’s freedom and truth for themselves.
JE: So the gospel is… an experience?... a feeling?
ML: Hmm. Kind of. It’s a real thing that we can feel and know inside of us. Being freed and saved. Getting a new Spirit—the Holy Spirit—inside of us. So yeah, in a way, it’s a feeling. But it’s also more than a feeling.
JE: More than a feeling. What does that even mean?
ML: Well, if it were just a feeling we wouldn’t always know where it comes from or how to get it or if we can even trust it, ya know? Feelings come and go. But we can trust God’s promises in scripture: like when Jesus says, “Go in peace, your faith has made you well. Your sins are forgiven.” Or “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” I mean, did the people Jesus was talking to have to wonder if they were in a state of grace? No way. They totally had that grace and freedom, because Jesus said so.
JE: Those are some of my favorite parts of the Bible, too. But if you’re talking about freedom, then part of the freedom of the way things are now is that we don’t have to wonder or decide what to feel. We can just trust the system. That’s a blessing, too, right? Holy church puts us on the right path. No worries. That’s why it seems to me like your ideas confuse people more than help them. Only heretics want people to leave the right path.
ML: Dude. Did you just use the H word at me… again? Heretic?
JE: Just as a caution, man. Totally hypothetical.
ML: Okay, but that’s the thing. Like, are we heretical as soon as we dare to think that faith is more than just trusting the system?
JE: What’s wrong with the system?
ML: Depends which one.
JE: Why? Does it matter? Just trust the system.
ML: It totally matters. Jesus came to give the gospel, not a to-do list that’s never finished.
JE: So you really are saying there’s a difference between Jesus and the holy church?
ML: Sometimes… Maybe… Yes.
JE: Why would you say that?
ML: Because faith is about love, man. Not rules.
JE: Right, but the church is love. We are SO loving! If you don’t believe the church is love, then just get out of here.
ML: That’s not helpful.
JE: Well, let’s just say I’m not convinced. I don’t see why I should trust Dr. Luther’s opinions more than the time-tested views of God’s one, holy, catholic and apostolic church.
ML: I didn’t say that.
JE: Good.
ML: Fine.
JE: I know.
ML: Fine, then.
DG: It seems our conversation has reached an impasse. Personally, I agree more with Dr. Eck. I don’t want Dr. Luther telling me how to feel.
ML: I never said that!
DG: Anyways, we have to clear the hall now. I’m expecting company. I trust everyone is satisfied?
ML: No!
JE: Not really, but did I just win the conversation?
DG: Totally. But thanks to you both for the fun talk.
Narrator: Narrator: After the Leipzig Disputation, Eck felt he had enough dirt on Luther to get him excommunicated. He went to Rome and worked on the papal bull of excommunication that would make Luther a heretic. His work came to fruition. In scene 3, we hear the bull of excommunication—called Exsurge Domino, after its opening words in Latin—in the form of a song.
Scene 3: Eck Sings the Bull of Excommunication, 1520
Scene 4: Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me, Guess I'll Die in Worms, 1521
Narrator: Refusing to change his mind, Luther was excommunicated from the Church of Rome. Because Luther lived in the Holy Roman Empire—a federation of German cities and states—he was summoned for a trial in front of a young Emperor Charles the Fifth. The meeting took place in the town of Worms. Because these imperial meetings were called “diets,” we end up in English with the funny name “the Diet of Worms.” In at least one account of the meeting, Luther’s speech ended with his famous words, “Here I stand, I can do no other.” In this imaginary version of the Diet of Worms, we wonder what would have happened if Luther and Charles had somehow hit it off.
Emperor Charles V [C5] sits overseeing the imperial parliament meeting. Luther is called forth. An imperial representative—Richard von Greiffenklau zu Vollrads [RG]—announces the charges.
RG: Dr. Martin Luther, you have been found guilty by our Holy Father Pope Leo the Tenth of heresy and schism against the Holy Catholic Church. In addition to the papal excommunication you have been summoned to the highest court in the land to stand before his Imperial Majesty Charles V. You are being tried as a heretical disturber of the peace. Representing his majesty the emperor, I am assistant to the Archbishop of Trier. My name is Richard von Greiffenklau zu Vollrads, but you can call me Johnny. For this trial your writings have been assembled and put on display. Your crimes will be dismissed if you say simply point to the books and say, “I renounce them.”
ML: I don’t know, Johnny.
RG: That's not an option. Just say, “I renounce them.”
ML: I… reeeeeeee-aally don’t know about that.
RG: Dr. Luther, as an infamous heretic, you have been brought at royal expense all the way here from Wittenberg to Worms for the sole purpose of either publicly defending or renouncing your impious teachings right now. And all you can say is ‘I don’t know?’”
ML: I suppose.
RG: You suppose?
ML: Yes… I suppose that I really don’t know about that.
RG turns to Emperor Charles: Your majesty, the heretic supposes he really doesn’t know what he thinks about his heretical works, your majesty.
C5: How very disappointing. We would have hoped for something more profound. The Friars Club Roast of Martin Luther was to be both our main item of imperial business and our headlining entertainment this week. Is that really all he has to say?
RG, to Luther: Is that all?
ML: No, sir.
RG, to Charles: Your majesty, he says, “No, sir,” your majesty.
C5: Please invite him to explain, if he supposes he can.
RG: Please explain.
ML, to RG first, then to C5: Johnny… Your majesty… I said, “I don’t know” because I honestly don’t know what to say about the charges against me.
RG: I know what you should say. To remain a citizen of Holy Roman Emperor in good standing and for the salvation of your eternal soul you should say, “I renounce these heretical works and beg his imperial majesty’s forgiveness, should he deign to give it.” Or, alternatively—and perhaps even more exciting for us—you could choose to embrace your heresy and boldly claim for yourself the terribly fun-to-watch penalties you so justly deserve. In which case, you should say, “I do not renounce these heretical works.”
ML: I see.
RG: So…
ML: I reeeeeee-ally wonder if it’s that simple.
RG, exasperated: Of course you do.
ML: I mean, I’ve written a lot of stuff over the past few years, a lot of different… stuff. [Walking to the table full of his books, he starts picking them up] This book here gives advice how to die a nice pious Christian death trusting in God and using the sacraments of the church. It seems odd to renounce something like that.
RG: Fine. Set that one aside for now.
ML: This book here isn’t so much a set of ideas I was teaching as it is a set of questions that I wrote for a professional discussion with my fellow Augustinian brothers and theology professors. I mean, I’m a teacher of the church. Is it heretical to ask questions?
RG: It depends. Are they heretical questions?
ML: I don’t think so.
C5: That’s exactly what a heretic would say! He’s guilty!
RG: Please, your highness.
C5: We are sorry, Johnny. Proceed.
ML: This little book here is about how to pray, why we pray, and what pious Christians might pray for. Should I renounce that?
RG: It depends. Are they heretical prayers?
ML: Probably not. Most of it’s about the Lord’s Prayer. So you tell me.
RG: Well, if anyone could turn the Our Father into heretical drivel, it would be you.
ML, pretending he didn't hear that: Now this book is a little trickier. I admit… I was angry when I wrote that and sent it out.
RG: You shouldn’t click “send” when you’re feeling angry… or heretical.
ML: I know. But here’s the thing. I wrote it to explain why it’s not bad to be angry about some things. Like, what do you do when you have something important to say but you feel like no one’s listening?
RG: One might say it again… in your case, maybe a little less heretically.
ML: Right. And if people don’t listen then?
RG: One might say it again, even more clearly and much less heretically.
ML: Yes. And if people still didn't listen?
RG: I don’t know. Then a non-heretical person might feel justifably angry.
ML: Right. That was me. I tried to be polite. I tried to be honest, clear and direct. I did what I could to avoid being a heretic. I confess… [Charles and RG get excited at these words] that I even raised my voice and resorted to name calling to get noticed. Guilty. But instead of getting noticed, all anyone heard was that I had raised my voice. I’m sorry about that. But then again, it's a 'sorry, not sorry' situation.
RG: I suppose.
ML: It's just that I had something I really wanted to say [he sighs; everyone is quiet].
C5: So… What did he want to say?
RG: What did you want to say, you wishy-washy heretic?
ML: Honestly, I just wanted to talk about Jesus. I mean, Jesus is awesome! I’m not just talking about the miracles or the wise teachings and clever sayings and all. Those things are cool. But there’s this other thing that just keeps blowing my mind. “God shows his love in this: that at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” Jesus is God, and then God dies for the ungodly! That’s like… boom [shows his mind being blown].
C5: Dude, that's what I think, too!
ML: Your majesty, that’s all I wanted to talk about before the indulgence thing got going, and before the questions about church authority and me being a heretic got in the way. It all just kinda snowballed out of control. But mostly I still just wish I could talk about Jesus without getting yelled at.
C5: I totally know what you mean! Like, I’m always asking my advisers and theologians things like, “If Jesus came to bring the kingdom of God, then where is it? Like, I’m the Holy Roman Emperor, King of Spain and ruler of the Americas, heir to the House of Hapsburg… I could go on. Anyways, if anyone would know a kingdom when they see it, you’d think it’d be me, right? So where is it?” And my theologians are all like, “Your majesty, the kingdom comes in the following visible and invisible means, blah, blah, blah.” But I just want to talk about Jesus, you know?
ML: Totally!
C5: Here’s what we’ll do. You’ll have to come over to my place later for tapas. Johnny, make it happen.
RG: I will. Presuming he doesn’t get magically whisked away first.
C5 and ML [they high-five and say together]: Awesome!
Narrator: For his safety, it turned out that Luther did get whisked away from the Diet of Worms. Charles hadn’t invited him for tapas anyways. Instead, Charles agreed with Rome and declared Luther’s teachings to be not only heretical but illegal. Lo, these many years later, here we stand.
Emperor Charles V [C5] sits overseeing the imperial parliament meeting. Luther is called forth. An imperial representative—Richard von Greiffenklau zu Vollrads [RG]—announces the charges.
RG: Dr. Martin Luther, you have been found guilty by our Holy Father Pope Leo the Tenth of heresy and schism against the Holy Catholic Church. In addition to the papal excommunication you have been summoned to the highest court in the land to stand before his Imperial Majesty Charles V. You are being tried as a heretical disturber of the peace. Representing his majesty the emperor, I am assistant to the Archbishop of Trier. My name is Richard von Greiffenklau zu Vollrads, but you can call me Johnny. For this trial your writings have been assembled and put on display. Your crimes will be dismissed if you say simply point to the books and say, “I renounce them.”
ML: I don’t know, Johnny.
RG: That's not an option. Just say, “I renounce them.”
ML: I… reeeeeeee-aally don’t know about that.
RG: Dr. Luther, as an infamous heretic, you have been brought at royal expense all the way here from Wittenberg to Worms for the sole purpose of either publicly defending or renouncing your impious teachings right now. And all you can say is ‘I don’t know?’”
ML: I suppose.
RG: You suppose?
ML: Yes… I suppose that I really don’t know about that.
RG turns to Emperor Charles: Your majesty, the heretic supposes he really doesn’t know what he thinks about his heretical works, your majesty.
C5: How very disappointing. We would have hoped for something more profound. The Friars Club Roast of Martin Luther was to be both our main item of imperial business and our headlining entertainment this week. Is that really all he has to say?
RG, to Luther: Is that all?
ML: No, sir.
RG, to Charles: Your majesty, he says, “No, sir,” your majesty.
C5: Please invite him to explain, if he supposes he can.
RG: Please explain.
ML, to RG first, then to C5: Johnny… Your majesty… I said, “I don’t know” because I honestly don’t know what to say about the charges against me.
RG: I know what you should say. To remain a citizen of Holy Roman Emperor in good standing and for the salvation of your eternal soul you should say, “I renounce these heretical works and beg his imperial majesty’s forgiveness, should he deign to give it.” Or, alternatively—and perhaps even more exciting for us—you could choose to embrace your heresy and boldly claim for yourself the terribly fun-to-watch penalties you so justly deserve. In which case, you should say, “I do not renounce these heretical works.”
ML: I see.
RG: So…
ML: I reeeeeee-ally wonder if it’s that simple.
RG, exasperated: Of course you do.
ML: I mean, I’ve written a lot of stuff over the past few years, a lot of different… stuff. [Walking to the table full of his books, he starts picking them up] This book here gives advice how to die a nice pious Christian death trusting in God and using the sacraments of the church. It seems odd to renounce something like that.
RG: Fine. Set that one aside for now.
ML: This book here isn’t so much a set of ideas I was teaching as it is a set of questions that I wrote for a professional discussion with my fellow Augustinian brothers and theology professors. I mean, I’m a teacher of the church. Is it heretical to ask questions?
RG: It depends. Are they heretical questions?
ML: I don’t think so.
C5: That’s exactly what a heretic would say! He’s guilty!
RG: Please, your highness.
C5: We are sorry, Johnny. Proceed.
ML: This little book here is about how to pray, why we pray, and what pious Christians might pray for. Should I renounce that?
RG: It depends. Are they heretical prayers?
ML: Probably not. Most of it’s about the Lord’s Prayer. So you tell me.
RG: Well, if anyone could turn the Our Father into heretical drivel, it would be you.
ML, pretending he didn't hear that: Now this book is a little trickier. I admit… I was angry when I wrote that and sent it out.
RG: You shouldn’t click “send” when you’re feeling angry… or heretical.
ML: I know. But here’s the thing. I wrote it to explain why it’s not bad to be angry about some things. Like, what do you do when you have something important to say but you feel like no one’s listening?
RG: One might say it again… in your case, maybe a little less heretically.
ML: Right. And if people don’t listen then?
RG: One might say it again, even more clearly and much less heretically.
ML: Yes. And if people still didn't listen?
RG: I don’t know. Then a non-heretical person might feel justifably angry.
ML: Right. That was me. I tried to be polite. I tried to be honest, clear and direct. I did what I could to avoid being a heretic. I confess… [Charles and RG get excited at these words] that I even raised my voice and resorted to name calling to get noticed. Guilty. But instead of getting noticed, all anyone heard was that I had raised my voice. I’m sorry about that. But then again, it's a 'sorry, not sorry' situation.
RG: I suppose.
ML: It's just that I had something I really wanted to say [he sighs; everyone is quiet].
C5: So… What did he want to say?
RG: What did you want to say, you wishy-washy heretic?
ML: Honestly, I just wanted to talk about Jesus. I mean, Jesus is awesome! I’m not just talking about the miracles or the wise teachings and clever sayings and all. Those things are cool. But there’s this other thing that just keeps blowing my mind. “God shows his love in this: that at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” Jesus is God, and then God dies for the ungodly! That’s like… boom [shows his mind being blown].
C5: Dude, that's what I think, too!
ML: Your majesty, that’s all I wanted to talk about before the indulgence thing got going, and before the questions about church authority and me being a heretic got in the way. It all just kinda snowballed out of control. But mostly I still just wish I could talk about Jesus without getting yelled at.
C5: I totally know what you mean! Like, I’m always asking my advisers and theologians things like, “If Jesus came to bring the kingdom of God, then where is it? Like, I’m the Holy Roman Emperor, King of Spain and ruler of the Americas, heir to the House of Hapsburg… I could go on. Anyways, if anyone would know a kingdom when they see it, you’d think it’d be me, right? So where is it?” And my theologians are all like, “Your majesty, the kingdom comes in the following visible and invisible means, blah, blah, blah.” But I just want to talk about Jesus, you know?
ML: Totally!
C5: Here’s what we’ll do. You’ll have to come over to my place later for tapas. Johnny, make it happen.
RG: I will. Presuming he doesn’t get magically whisked away first.
C5 and ML [they high-five and say together]: Awesome!
Narrator: For his safety, it turned out that Luther did get whisked away from the Diet of Worms. Charles hadn’t invited him for tapas anyways. Instead, Charles agreed with Rome and declared Luther’s teachings to be not only heretical but illegal. Lo, these many years later, here we stand.
Scene 5: Luther Gets Heckled, 1525
Narrator: Luther’s Reformation ideas inspired regular people to stand up for their rights in many new ways. After all, if Luther was preaching spiritual liberation and reform of the church, why shouldn’t that mean more freedom in other aspects of life, too? In these years, the legal rights of peasants were increasingly being reduced by the nobility. While sympathetic to many of the points raised by the peasants, Luther didn’t believe that spiritual freedom gave people the right to rebel. This halfway approach to reform meant that when Luther went on a preaching tour as the Peasants War was escalating across Germany, he wasn’t always greeted as a hero anymore. Instead, Luther—the liberating hero who stood up to emperors and popes—started getting heckled by the people themselves.
Scene: Luther is preaching, while peasants [P1 and P2] stand listening.
ML: In our gospel reading for today, we have heard what the Lord requires: faith in God and love of neighbor.
P1: What about the part where the Lord required you to sell out to the nobility?
ML, ignoring that: Faith in God means looking to God for all good, including in times of trial. For Christ came not to bring an earthly kingdom but a spiritual one. He promises peace to troubled hearts, not of ease and abundance.
P2: He couldn’t have brought at least a little ease and abundance?
ML: No, dear friend. He himself was despised and rejected. Instead of comforting the rich, he is with his little ones in their need.
P2: I’d rather be comfortable without Jesus than desperately poor with him.
ML: Please, friend, don’t give room to such desires of the flesh.
P1: Oops! Too late! You should have told us that before the funeral party we threw for Dorfman last week. It got a little wild. Dorfman would’ve liked it.
ML: What did the poor man die from?
P1: I forget… [to P2] what did Dorfie die from?
P2: Oh, yes. In the doctor’s expert medical opinion… he died from being a peasant!
P1: Also, by way of reminder, we don’t have doctors.
ML: I am sorry for your loss. Friends in Christ, this is what I mean about the importance of keeping faith and love at the heart of daily life: faith in God leads to love of the neighbor and acts of kindness in the community. As it says in Acts 4, “There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold. They laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need.” First we preach the gospel and convert hearts, then the world is a different place.
P1: Right, the old trickle-down charity.
P2: It trickles down to us around the time we’re six feet under.
ML: Again, I’m sorry for your suffering, but revolution is hardly the answer. How is the death and gore of battle an improvement for you and your families? You’ll be fighting professional armies, while you yourselves are armed with nothing but pitchforks and good intentions?
P1: It’s a good rush, at least. I’m mean, we die sooner or we die slightly less sooner. What’s the difference?
ML: For one thing, by working for change in socially responsible ways you will be honoring God through the stewardship of your lives. For another, you must have families and friends who need you.
P2: Yeah, but my family's gonna die soon enough, too.
P1: And he’s not that great a friend, either.
P2: Cheers to that, you poxy cur!
ML: Friends, you are right that this life is fleeting. As the Lord said to our first parents in the Garden of Eden, “you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” Or in the words of the Psalmist, “I am a worm and not human; scorned by others, and despised by the people.”
P1: Sounds about right.
ML: What I mean is that God has come to us not in our glory but in our weakness. Jesus Christ—the Son of God made flesh—has become one with us, poor worm food and maggot sacks that we are in this life.
P2: Speaking of maggot sacks, I don’t think you could preach your way out of one.
ML: My friends, I have tried to be patient and Christian to you. But I must I shake the dust off my feet in protest against this town.
P1: That’s fine. We’re peasants. We like our dust.
P2: Yeah, stop stealing our dust, you bourgie churchman! Why don’t you find a nice runaway nun to shack up with. Then you can bore her to tears instead of us.
ML: It’s your funeral.
P1: We already told you: we throw awesome funerals!
P2: Cheers to that, too!
ML [exiting]: I will pray for your souls. May Christ have mercy on you.
P1 [shouts after him, waving cheerily]: And God bless you! See you on the wrong side of history, Dr. Luther!
P2: More like 'Dr. Loser.'
P1 [giving a high five]: Nice one.
Narrator: After experiences like these, Luther’s animosity against the rebellious peasants led him to write harsh tracts asserting the princes’ rights to use violent force against the uprisings. His work appeared in print just as the princes were doing just that, killing thousands of peasants while their professional armies suffered casualties in the single digits. The relationship between Luther and the common people was never the same. Instead of writing about current events, Luther went back to publishing Biblical commentaries and worship resources for a while. At the same time, just when events around him seemed most chaotic, Luther did in fact marry a runaway nun named Katherina von Bora.
P2: Now he really can 'Bora her to tears.'
Narrator: Now I know how Luther felt.
P2: You're welcome.
Scene: Luther is preaching, while peasants [P1 and P2] stand listening.
ML: In our gospel reading for today, we have heard what the Lord requires: faith in God and love of neighbor.
P1: What about the part where the Lord required you to sell out to the nobility?
ML, ignoring that: Faith in God means looking to God for all good, including in times of trial. For Christ came not to bring an earthly kingdom but a spiritual one. He promises peace to troubled hearts, not of ease and abundance.
P2: He couldn’t have brought at least a little ease and abundance?
ML: No, dear friend. He himself was despised and rejected. Instead of comforting the rich, he is with his little ones in their need.
P2: I’d rather be comfortable without Jesus than desperately poor with him.
ML: Please, friend, don’t give room to such desires of the flesh.
P1: Oops! Too late! You should have told us that before the funeral party we threw for Dorfman last week. It got a little wild. Dorfman would’ve liked it.
ML: What did the poor man die from?
P1: I forget… [to P2] what did Dorfie die from?
P2: Oh, yes. In the doctor’s expert medical opinion… he died from being a peasant!
P1: Also, by way of reminder, we don’t have doctors.
ML: I am sorry for your loss. Friends in Christ, this is what I mean about the importance of keeping faith and love at the heart of daily life: faith in God leads to love of the neighbor and acts of kindness in the community. As it says in Acts 4, “There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold. They laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need.” First we preach the gospel and convert hearts, then the world is a different place.
P1: Right, the old trickle-down charity.
P2: It trickles down to us around the time we’re six feet under.
ML: Again, I’m sorry for your suffering, but revolution is hardly the answer. How is the death and gore of battle an improvement for you and your families? You’ll be fighting professional armies, while you yourselves are armed with nothing but pitchforks and good intentions?
P1: It’s a good rush, at least. I’m mean, we die sooner or we die slightly less sooner. What’s the difference?
ML: For one thing, by working for change in socially responsible ways you will be honoring God through the stewardship of your lives. For another, you must have families and friends who need you.
P2: Yeah, but my family's gonna die soon enough, too.
P1: And he’s not that great a friend, either.
P2: Cheers to that, you poxy cur!
ML: Friends, you are right that this life is fleeting. As the Lord said to our first parents in the Garden of Eden, “you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” Or in the words of the Psalmist, “I am a worm and not human; scorned by others, and despised by the people.”
P1: Sounds about right.
ML: What I mean is that God has come to us not in our glory but in our weakness. Jesus Christ—the Son of God made flesh—has become one with us, poor worm food and maggot sacks that we are in this life.
P2: Speaking of maggot sacks, I don’t think you could preach your way out of one.
ML: My friends, I have tried to be patient and Christian to you. But I must I shake the dust off my feet in protest against this town.
P1: That’s fine. We’re peasants. We like our dust.
P2: Yeah, stop stealing our dust, you bourgie churchman! Why don’t you find a nice runaway nun to shack up with. Then you can bore her to tears instead of us.
ML: It’s your funeral.
P1: We already told you: we throw awesome funerals!
P2: Cheers to that, too!
ML [exiting]: I will pray for your souls. May Christ have mercy on you.
P1 [shouts after him, waving cheerily]: And God bless you! See you on the wrong side of history, Dr. Luther!
P2: More like 'Dr. Loser.'
P1 [giving a high five]: Nice one.
Narrator: After experiences like these, Luther’s animosity against the rebellious peasants led him to write harsh tracts asserting the princes’ rights to use violent force against the uprisings. His work appeared in print just as the princes were doing just that, killing thousands of peasants while their professional armies suffered casualties in the single digits. The relationship between Luther and the common people was never the same. Instead of writing about current events, Luther went back to publishing Biblical commentaries and worship resources for a while. At the same time, just when events around him seemed most chaotic, Luther did in fact marry a runaway nun named Katherina von Bora.
P2: Now he really can 'Bora her to tears.'
Narrator: Now I know how Luther felt.
P2: You're welcome.
Scene 6: Luther's Small Catechist, 1529
Narrator: After his marriage to Katherina von Bora (aka Katie Luther, aka Sir Katie) came the birth of their first child Hans. Martin Luther found himself in a situation that hadn’t been common in western Europe for hundreds of years: he was a legally-married pastor and theologian with a small child at home. His experience as a husband and father impacted his theological writings. Luther’s Small Catechism—published when Hans was almost three years old—revolves around the common toddler question: Was ist das? What is this? What is that? In the following scene, we image how Luther’s Small Catechism was influenced by his small catechist, the toddler Hans.
Martin Luther and Katie Luther [KL] are finishing dinner. Little Hans [KL] is sitting there, too, picking at his food and tapping his cup with a spoon.
ML: Let us return thanks to the Lord for this meal. [He prays,] Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good and his mercy endures forever. Amen.
HL: And God bless the cook!
KL: Amen and thank you, dears. So, Martin, what world problem or devilish plagues were you solving today in your lectures?
ML: I was continuing my lectures on the prophet Isaiah. We worked through some Hebrew and talked through some points of doctrine.
KL: Which points?
ML: It’s Isaiah, so we mostly talked about suffering.
KL: Oh! The world’s problems AND devilish plagues. How inspiring.
ML: Yes. We do have fun in the lecture hall.
KL: What answers did you come up with?
ML: For me, it had less to do with theological answers than realizing that these young scholars know so little about life. They’re just boys. A lot of them come from wealthy families and have never known what it’s like to be in need. Others just sit there shaking from nerves that I’ll call on them and expect them to give an intelligent answer some day. How can you talk about God, truth, life and grace with people who either don’t worry enough or worry too much?
KL: We have a spoiled little boy. Let’s ask him.
ML: Great idea! Hans, my dear, when you think about God, what do you think about?
HL: Um. “Our Father in heaven.”
ML: Yes! God is a father to us, like I am to you.
HL: But better.
ML: Definitely! What do you think when you hear pastor talk about the commandments?
HL: What’s that?
ML: The commandments are the teachings that God gave the people of Israel as a sign of the covenant.
HL: What’s that?
ML: It’s God’s promise to always be with the people.
HL: Okay.
KL: He’s already making you work hard, Dr. Luther.
ML: He sure is. Hans, what do you think makes God happy?
HL: Being nice.
ML: Yes, what happens if you are not nice?
HL: Trouble.
ML: Yes, that’s pretty much what God says about it, too. Do you think God is more mean or more nice?
HL: A little mean, mostly nice.
ML: Yes, that’s exactly what scripture says: God’s anger is for three or four generations to those who break the commandments but God’s love is to the thousandth generation of those who love the Lord.
HL: What’s that?
ML: It means God’s wrath is but for a while God’s favor lasts for a lifetime. That’s from the Psalms.
HL: What’s that?
ML: The prayer book of the Bible.
HL: What’s that?
ML: It’s where we learn about God.
KL: You should be writing this down, Martin.
ML: I know! This is already more interesting than my lectures. Hey, Hans.
HL: Yes, papa?
ML: I have a job for you.
HL: Okay, papa.
ML: I’m going to tell you something from the Bible and I want you to say “What’s that?” right back to me. Can you do that?
HL: Uh-huh.
ML: Here we go. “You shall have no other gods.”
HL: What’s that?
ML: Perfect! It means we are to fear, love, and trust God above all else. Does that make sense to you?
HL: What’s that?
ML: This time just say yes or no. Does it make sense that we should fear, love, and trust God above all else?
HL: I don’t know.
ML: That’s okay. You have a lifetime to think about it. Katie, why don’t you ask Hans about another commandment.
KL: Let’s try this one. Hans, say your favorite words.
HL: What’s that?
KL: Exactly. Hans, “Honor your father and your mother.”
HL: okay.
KL: No, you say ‘What’s that.’
HL: What’s that?
KL: It means you should fear and love God so that you don’t ignore your mama and papa but instead listen to them, love them, and let them love you.
HL: okay, mama.
ML [to Katie]: You’re good at this! [To Hans] Hans, let’s try another one.
HL: What’s that?
ML: It’s this part of the Creed, “I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting.”
HL: What’s that?
ML: “I believe in the Holy Spirit” means I believe that I cannot believe, except that the Holy Spirit has called me first. Here, too, I should say that the Greek word ecclesia properly means an assembly in German. But we are accustomed to using the word church not as an assembled group of people, but as a consecrated house or building. But the house would not be called a church if it were not for the single reason that the group of people come together in it. For we who come together choose a special place and give the house its name because of this group.[1]
[Hans stares blankly at Martin, then says]
HL: What’s that?
KL: You lost him.
ML: That’s the same look students give me when I tell them that the gospel both sets them free and binds them to lives of service.
KL: Work on it.
ML: I will. [To Hans] I must thank you, Master Hans, for being my great teacher tonight. I will use this exercise to write a book teaching the faith for people of every age. I will call it a Small Catechism.
HL: What’s that?
ML: Exactly.
[1] From the Large Catechism, BC 437.48.
Martin Luther and Katie Luther [KL] are finishing dinner. Little Hans [KL] is sitting there, too, picking at his food and tapping his cup with a spoon.
ML: Let us return thanks to the Lord for this meal. [He prays,] Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good and his mercy endures forever. Amen.
HL: And God bless the cook!
KL: Amen and thank you, dears. So, Martin, what world problem or devilish plagues were you solving today in your lectures?
ML: I was continuing my lectures on the prophet Isaiah. We worked through some Hebrew and talked through some points of doctrine.
KL: Which points?
ML: It’s Isaiah, so we mostly talked about suffering.
KL: Oh! The world’s problems AND devilish plagues. How inspiring.
ML: Yes. We do have fun in the lecture hall.
KL: What answers did you come up with?
ML: For me, it had less to do with theological answers than realizing that these young scholars know so little about life. They’re just boys. A lot of them come from wealthy families and have never known what it’s like to be in need. Others just sit there shaking from nerves that I’ll call on them and expect them to give an intelligent answer some day. How can you talk about God, truth, life and grace with people who either don’t worry enough or worry too much?
KL: We have a spoiled little boy. Let’s ask him.
ML: Great idea! Hans, my dear, when you think about God, what do you think about?
HL: Um. “Our Father in heaven.”
ML: Yes! God is a father to us, like I am to you.
HL: But better.
ML: Definitely! What do you think when you hear pastor talk about the commandments?
HL: What’s that?
ML: The commandments are the teachings that God gave the people of Israel as a sign of the covenant.
HL: What’s that?
ML: It’s God’s promise to always be with the people.
HL: Okay.
KL: He’s already making you work hard, Dr. Luther.
ML: He sure is. Hans, what do you think makes God happy?
HL: Being nice.
ML: Yes, what happens if you are not nice?
HL: Trouble.
ML: Yes, that’s pretty much what God says about it, too. Do you think God is more mean or more nice?
HL: A little mean, mostly nice.
ML: Yes, that’s exactly what scripture says: God’s anger is for three or four generations to those who break the commandments but God’s love is to the thousandth generation of those who love the Lord.
HL: What’s that?
ML: It means God’s wrath is but for a while God’s favor lasts for a lifetime. That’s from the Psalms.
HL: What’s that?
ML: The prayer book of the Bible.
HL: What’s that?
ML: It’s where we learn about God.
KL: You should be writing this down, Martin.
ML: I know! This is already more interesting than my lectures. Hey, Hans.
HL: Yes, papa?
ML: I have a job for you.
HL: Okay, papa.
ML: I’m going to tell you something from the Bible and I want you to say “What’s that?” right back to me. Can you do that?
HL: Uh-huh.
ML: Here we go. “You shall have no other gods.”
HL: What’s that?
ML: Perfect! It means we are to fear, love, and trust God above all else. Does that make sense to you?
HL: What’s that?
ML: This time just say yes or no. Does it make sense that we should fear, love, and trust God above all else?
HL: I don’t know.
ML: That’s okay. You have a lifetime to think about it. Katie, why don’t you ask Hans about another commandment.
KL: Let’s try this one. Hans, say your favorite words.
HL: What’s that?
KL: Exactly. Hans, “Honor your father and your mother.”
HL: okay.
KL: No, you say ‘What’s that.’
HL: What’s that?
KL: It means you should fear and love God so that you don’t ignore your mama and papa but instead listen to them, love them, and let them love you.
HL: okay, mama.
ML [to Katie]: You’re good at this! [To Hans] Hans, let’s try another one.
HL: What’s that?
ML: It’s this part of the Creed, “I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting.”
HL: What’s that?
ML: “I believe in the Holy Spirit” means I believe that I cannot believe, except that the Holy Spirit has called me first. Here, too, I should say that the Greek word ecclesia properly means an assembly in German. But we are accustomed to using the word church not as an assembled group of people, but as a consecrated house or building. But the house would not be called a church if it were not for the single reason that the group of people come together in it. For we who come together choose a special place and give the house its name because of this group.[1]
[Hans stares blankly at Martin, then says]
HL: What’s that?
KL: You lost him.
ML: That’s the same look students give me when I tell them that the gospel both sets them free and binds them to lives of service.
KL: Work on it.
ML: I will. [To Hans] I must thank you, Master Hans, for being my great teacher tonight. I will use this exercise to write a book teaching the faith for people of every age. I will call it a Small Catechism.
HL: What’s that?
ML: Exactly.
[1] From the Large Catechism, BC 437.48.
Scene 7: IMing the Diet of Augsburg, 1530
Narrator: Luther somehow survived the 1520s. He kept teaching and writing. He got married, started a family, and wrote a Small Catechism. The Reformation spread, with more and more territories reforming their churches along the lines that Luther and his colleagues encouraged. Of Luther’s colleagues, Philip Melanchthon was especially important. Trained as a humanist scholar, Melanchthon helped shape the Lutheran Reformation through his reforms of education and church life.
In 1530, Emperor Charles wanted to reopen discussion with the reformers at a diet in the south German city of Augsburg. Because Luther was an outlaw in the Holy Roman Empire, he couldn’t go to the meeting. Instead, he stayed near the Saxon border at Coburg Castle, while Melanchthon got the main job of writing the statement of Lutheran faith that came to be called the Augsburg Confession. The following is a summary of the Facetime calls Luther [ML] and Melanchthon [PM] had while Melanchthon was in Augsburg. Their wireless connection was spotty, though, so they could only talk every couple weeks.
Narrator: May 3, 1530
PM: Hey Marty. Just arrived in Augsburg. First person I met is your old pal John Eck. That guy’s the worst.
ML: Tell me about it. Face palm emoji
PM: So I just got here and was ready to talk about things w open mind and good attitude.
ML: Like you do. Unicorn emoji.
PM: Right. Then Eck hands me his new booklet, hot off the press. Title: “John Eck’s 404 Articles for the Imperial Diet at Augsburg.” Seriously? 404? What kind of number is that?
ML: No kidding. At least 95 Theses has a nice ring to it. But 404? Sounds like some kind of error message.
PM: I know. “Error—404—page not found—error—404.” What a nut.
ML: So what’s in the magical 404 articles? Vomit emoji.
PM: Mishmash of things you and I wrote, all out of context. Plus, he added tons of random quotes from some of the crazier writers out there, as if we’re all pals.
ML: Haters gonna hate, man.
PM: I have a whole new level of respect for what you went through with that guy.
ML: He’s a one-man spin machine. Everything you say he turns into something totally bizarre. Rainbow poop emoji.
PM: Right. But now I gotta start from scratch. I just can’t use the things that you, me and the rest of the gang worked on before we left. I’m gonna hafta to wing it: start with basics and go from there. I’ll keep you in the loop.
ML: Keep the faith, man. Sin boldy, trust God more boldly still.
PM: Good line!
ML: Thanks, I have lots of time to come up with good lines. This castle is totally in the boonies.
PM: Well, while you’re hanging out up there, send prayers this way. We need ‘em. Prayer hands emoji.
ML: Definitely. My prayers for you are like: I’m hanging out in the safety of this castle, but God is like a mighty fortress who will keep you safe over there. Castle emoji.
PM: Dude, that’s another good line! “Mighty Fortress” would be an awesome song, btw.
ML: Cool. I’ll work on it. Later, bro.
PM: Later.
Narrator: June 25, 1530
PM: Good news, Marty!!! [Three exclamation points] Hard work paid off. I finished the German version of the Confession a couple days ago. Then I wrote a Latin version.
ML: Way to go!
PM: Funny thing: the German and Latin versions are a little different. Didn’t have time to do a straight translation.
ML: That’s alright. It will totally mess with the church nerds of the future. “Why are these different? What were they trying to say?” Nerd emoji.
PM: That’s the goal. Anyways, I turned it in to Emperor Charles today.
ML: How’d that go?
PM: Chancellor Beyer read it in German. Dude has a big voice. People could hear it in the courtyard below. Two hours of Lutheran theology! Super exciting!!!
ML: Wish I were there. Nerd emoji again.
PM: Also: Emperor Charles doesn’t understand German very well, so he fell asleep. We made faces at him the whole time to be sure. He even drooled. Sleeping emoji.
ML: Classic!
PM: Our Lutheran princes totally stood up to him. One of them said that if Charles didn’t like the Confession, he could cut off the prince’s head right then and there.
ML: Nice move!
PM: I’ll text you the final draft. Enjoy!
ML: Awesome. Have I mentioned I’m super sick of this castle? Bored emoji. But I’m getting a good song out of it.
PM: Can’t wait to hear it. Sign of the horns rock music emoji.
Narrator: July 3, 1530
ML: Hey, Phil. I’ve been reading the Confession. You nailed it! I’m glad you were there instead of me. It’s like I’m a big clumsy elk who runs through the forest trampling everything in my way; not a very soft touch. But you’re like a nimble deer, stepping lightly when needed. Deer emoji.
PM: Like a nimble deer? Thinking face emoji.
ML: I mean that in a good way. Way to go. Thumbs up icon.
PM: Thx.
ML: What’s going on now?
PM: The emperor’s theologians—Eck included—keep having secret meetings. I imagine they’ll pick it apart and then give us a bunch of reasons why it’s no good. I don’t care. We said what we needed to say.
ML: How long’s that gonna take?
PM: Can’t say. Hold tight!
ML: I’m totally going stir crazy. Crazy eyes emoji.
PM: Just translate the Bible some more. That always makes you feel better.
ML: Yeah, but I’m getting stuck translating Job. He musta learned a different kind of Hebrew than I did. It’s bad enough that I’m even starting to feel like Job. But you’re right, I do love translating things.
PM: You have a bit of a Job complex anyways. Winking smiley face.
ML: You know it, bro. Peace out emoji.
Narrator: September 15, 1530
ML: Dude, I’m so sick of this castle. I miss my wife and kids. I even miss our stupid dog. Puppy emoji.
PM: I know. This is getting old here, too. You staying busy?
ML: Still working on the Bible translation, but it’s not the same without the gang hanging out and helping.
PM: Tell Job hello for me.
ML: Taking a break from that. For fun, I’m translating Aesop’s fables. Moral of the story: All work and no play makes Luther a dull boy! Ready to leave whenever you are.
PM: Any day now. Need to leave before we all get arrested. Uh-oh, they’re coming! Gotta go! Running emoji
ML: Way to sin boldly, little buddy. Winking smiley face.
In 1530, Emperor Charles wanted to reopen discussion with the reformers at a diet in the south German city of Augsburg. Because Luther was an outlaw in the Holy Roman Empire, he couldn’t go to the meeting. Instead, he stayed near the Saxon border at Coburg Castle, while Melanchthon got the main job of writing the statement of Lutheran faith that came to be called the Augsburg Confession. The following is a summary of the Facetime calls Luther [ML] and Melanchthon [PM] had while Melanchthon was in Augsburg. Their wireless connection was spotty, though, so they could only talk every couple weeks.
Narrator: May 3, 1530
PM: Hey Marty. Just arrived in Augsburg. First person I met is your old pal John Eck. That guy’s the worst.
ML: Tell me about it. Face palm emoji
PM: So I just got here and was ready to talk about things w open mind and good attitude.
ML: Like you do. Unicorn emoji.
PM: Right. Then Eck hands me his new booklet, hot off the press. Title: “John Eck’s 404 Articles for the Imperial Diet at Augsburg.” Seriously? 404? What kind of number is that?
ML: No kidding. At least 95 Theses has a nice ring to it. But 404? Sounds like some kind of error message.
PM: I know. “Error—404—page not found—error—404.” What a nut.
ML: So what’s in the magical 404 articles? Vomit emoji.
PM: Mishmash of things you and I wrote, all out of context. Plus, he added tons of random quotes from some of the crazier writers out there, as if we’re all pals.
ML: Haters gonna hate, man.
PM: I have a whole new level of respect for what you went through with that guy.
ML: He’s a one-man spin machine. Everything you say he turns into something totally bizarre. Rainbow poop emoji.
PM: Right. But now I gotta start from scratch. I just can’t use the things that you, me and the rest of the gang worked on before we left. I’m gonna hafta to wing it: start with basics and go from there. I’ll keep you in the loop.
ML: Keep the faith, man. Sin boldy, trust God more boldly still.
PM: Good line!
ML: Thanks, I have lots of time to come up with good lines. This castle is totally in the boonies.
PM: Well, while you’re hanging out up there, send prayers this way. We need ‘em. Prayer hands emoji.
ML: Definitely. My prayers for you are like: I’m hanging out in the safety of this castle, but God is like a mighty fortress who will keep you safe over there. Castle emoji.
PM: Dude, that’s another good line! “Mighty Fortress” would be an awesome song, btw.
ML: Cool. I’ll work on it. Later, bro.
PM: Later.
Narrator: June 25, 1530
PM: Good news, Marty!!! [Three exclamation points] Hard work paid off. I finished the German version of the Confession a couple days ago. Then I wrote a Latin version.
ML: Way to go!
PM: Funny thing: the German and Latin versions are a little different. Didn’t have time to do a straight translation.
ML: That’s alright. It will totally mess with the church nerds of the future. “Why are these different? What were they trying to say?” Nerd emoji.
PM: That’s the goal. Anyways, I turned it in to Emperor Charles today.
ML: How’d that go?
PM: Chancellor Beyer read it in German. Dude has a big voice. People could hear it in the courtyard below. Two hours of Lutheran theology! Super exciting!!!
ML: Wish I were there. Nerd emoji again.
PM: Also: Emperor Charles doesn’t understand German very well, so he fell asleep. We made faces at him the whole time to be sure. He even drooled. Sleeping emoji.
ML: Classic!
PM: Our Lutheran princes totally stood up to him. One of them said that if Charles didn’t like the Confession, he could cut off the prince’s head right then and there.
ML: Nice move!
PM: I’ll text you the final draft. Enjoy!
ML: Awesome. Have I mentioned I’m super sick of this castle? Bored emoji. But I’m getting a good song out of it.
PM: Can’t wait to hear it. Sign of the horns rock music emoji.
Narrator: July 3, 1530
ML: Hey, Phil. I’ve been reading the Confession. You nailed it! I’m glad you were there instead of me. It’s like I’m a big clumsy elk who runs through the forest trampling everything in my way; not a very soft touch. But you’re like a nimble deer, stepping lightly when needed. Deer emoji.
PM: Like a nimble deer? Thinking face emoji.
ML: I mean that in a good way. Way to go. Thumbs up icon.
PM: Thx.
ML: What’s going on now?
PM: The emperor’s theologians—Eck included—keep having secret meetings. I imagine they’ll pick it apart and then give us a bunch of reasons why it’s no good. I don’t care. We said what we needed to say.
ML: How long’s that gonna take?
PM: Can’t say. Hold tight!
ML: I’m totally going stir crazy. Crazy eyes emoji.
PM: Just translate the Bible some more. That always makes you feel better.
ML: Yeah, but I’m getting stuck translating Job. He musta learned a different kind of Hebrew than I did. It’s bad enough that I’m even starting to feel like Job. But you’re right, I do love translating things.
PM: You have a bit of a Job complex anyways. Winking smiley face.
ML: You know it, bro. Peace out emoji.
Narrator: September 15, 1530
ML: Dude, I’m so sick of this castle. I miss my wife and kids. I even miss our stupid dog. Puppy emoji.
PM: I know. This is getting old here, too. You staying busy?
ML: Still working on the Bible translation, but it’s not the same without the gang hanging out and helping.
PM: Tell Job hello for me.
ML: Taking a break from that. For fun, I’m translating Aesop’s fables. Moral of the story: All work and no play makes Luther a dull boy! Ready to leave whenever you are.
PM: Any day now. Need to leave before we all get arrested. Uh-oh, they’re coming! Gotta go! Running emoji
ML: Way to sin boldly, little buddy. Winking smiley face.
Scene 8: Luther Being Luther (Interlude of Attitude)
Narrator: Luther, Melanchthon and the gang made it back to Wittenberg in the fall of 1530. Even though Emperor Charles rejected the Augsburg Confession, he needed German support for his wars, which allowed the Reformation kept spreading. Melanchthon wrote a long defense of the Augsburg Confession. Luther stayed busy. The German translation of the entire Bible was finished in 1534. He and his friends kept teaching, writing, and helping with reforms around Germany and around Europe. As convinced about his cause as ever, Luther continued to say what he thought. If he had a described his career using an old school jam, it might have sounded a little something like this:
Scene 9: Doodle Pole (1544) & Scene 10: Luther at the Council of Trent (1545)
Scene 9: Doodle Pole (1544)
Narrator: Way back before his excommunication, Luther had asked for a council of the church to discuss the need for reform. But for a lot of reasons, this didn’t happen. A tense political situation was partly responsible. Emperor Charles V and the king of Frances were often at war, getting in the way of a potential church council. Charles was also at war with the Turkish Ottoman Empire. King Henry VIII and the English Reformation of the 1530s further complicated things. In 1536, Pope Paul III himself called for a council but couldn’t get people together. The following scene, set in 1544, imagines what it was like trying to schedule a council of the church, as Pope Paul III (P3) goes over his calendar with papal nuncio Peter Paul Vergerio (Verg).
P3: Signor Vergerio! Thank you for coming to see me. How’s it going with that job I gave you?
Verg: Scheduling the council of the church? Terrible! I’m no closer now than I was ten years ago.
P3: That’s too bad. What’s the problem?
Verg: Do you remember the Thirties, when your eminence first became pope?
P3: Of course.
Verg: Back then, you invited all of Europe to come to a council.
P3: Very good of me, I thought.
Verg: Right. But King Henry of England was mad at Rome, Emperor Charles was fighting the Turks, the French were helping the Turks—just to stick it to Charles—and the Germans didn’t feel like trusting Italians right then.
P3: Stubborn Germans.
Verg: Yes, but I had a very nice visit with them.
P3: They make terrible wine.
Verg: I had the beer.
P3: Plebian swill.
Verg: Yes, your eminence. Anyways, the council didn’t happen. Do you remember what you did next?
P3: I said, “If they won’t come, then we’ll settle this ourselves. Executive orders!”
Verg: Exactly. You wanted an in-house reform program, setting a proactive agenda for the church to vote on and move ahead with.
P3: Another great idea of mine.
Verg: We commissioned some of our best cardinals: Reginald Pole, Contarini, Carafa, Aleander, Sadoleto.
P3: The best of the best: crème de la crème.
Verg: Yes, they identified several ways to clean up corruption all across the church.
P3: Brilliant!
Verg: They started with the papacy.
P3: Thanks, but no thanks!
Verg: Right. And then do you remember how those recommendations got leaked, and the Germans got hold of it, published the recommendations, embarrassed us tremendously, and trusted a council even less?
P3: I blame Luther.
Verg: Naturally, your eminence. Even so, Charles was still at war with France. Henry was starting to come back around but still liked doing things his own way in England. And don't even get me started on the Danes.
P3: Why are you telling me things I already know? So unpleasant.
Verg: I’m just answering your question about why I haven’t scheduled a council yet. It’s crazy hard! It’s been about a decade and I’m no closer now than when I started.
P3: Just send a “Doodle Pole.”
Verg: What’s that?
P3: It’s this new thing. First, get Michaelangelo or one of those guys to make a drawing of Cardinal Reginald Pole... he’s very popular. Next, you show it to all the leaders around Europe. You say: “Hey, everyone! We’re going to hold a church council. Reginald Pole is going to be there and he’s awesome. When can you come? Jot down some dates you’re available right next to this sublime doodle of Cardinal Pole.” It's that easy.
Verg: What a great use of technology!
P3: Just make it happen.
Verg: Yes, your eminence! I’ll get that Doodle Pole started right away!
Narrator: Pope Paul’s “Doodle Pole” must have worked. The Council of Trent was convened in December 1545. Before then, however, Vergerio was accused of heresy by the Inquisition and fled to the Protestants up north. (By that time, he felt like a real survey monkey.) When the council finally started in Trent, Italy, the church began to address the topics raised by the Reformation. It made practical reforms and set the tone for the Catholic Church for centuries to come. In early 1546 Martin Luther died in Germany shortly after the council had begun. He had not been invited. But what if Luther had attended? What if he had spoken with a pope? Our fictitious journey through the Reformation ends here, with Martin Luther and Pope Paul III hanging out together at the Council of Trent.
Scene 10: Martin Luther at the Council of Trent (1545)
Pope Paul III [P3] is talking with Reginald Pole [RP], reviewing some of the council’s decrees.
P3: Cardinal Pole, you’ve all been doing wonderful work so far in this council.
RP: Thank you, your holiness.
P3: Just look at this. We wanted a more educated clergy, and here you’ve invented seminaries for the priests. We wanted more priest in parishes, and you’ve come up with a way to make it happen. We wanted less corruption among church officials, and you’ve called that out, too, very tastefully [quietly] and without calling too much attention to the old oman-ray ontiff-pay. [Louder again] Well done!
RP: To God be the glory, sir. The delegates really have a great attitude. Everyone’s very much on the same page. I can’t imagine anything that might slow us down. Martin Luther [ML] enters.
RP: Speak of the devil!
ML: And Luther appears.
P3: Dr. Luther, you were not invited.
ML: Holy Father, I have learned that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission.
RP: We’ve had a very productive start to this council, Dr. Luther. Please don’t mess it up now.
ML: That’s the furthest thing from my mind, Reggie. It’s nice to see something finally happening. I mean... I brought this up about 25 years ago, but who am I to complain?
RP: Who are you to complain? You, Dr. Luther, are singlehandedly responsible for destroying the unity of the Catholic Church. You have led countless souls into heresy, error and damnation. You have inspired my homeland of England to abandon the true church, along with churches in Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Switzerland, Scotland, Poland, Latvia, Slovenia, and on and on. All of this is on your soul. God will judge.
ML: It's not God I'm worried about. And come on, Reggie. You’re giving me too much credit. How can I split Christendom when I’ve hardly been able to travel out of Wittenberg since you all made me a heretic. You know what weighs on my soul? Cabin fever. I wish I could have traveled more. I got one trip to Italy back when I was a monk and one trip to the Rhine River when was on trial at Worms, then “poof” I’m a heretic and stuck in Saxony. The wine is terrible.
RP: Good beer, though.
ML: Yes, thank heavens, my wife makes great beer.
P3: Speaking of your wife…
ML: That’s right, I got married. I like it. It suits me. Twenty years this June. I have wonderful children, a house full of family and friends, guests and students. We have a little farm and even a dumb family dog. It’s a good life. I highly recommend it.
RP: But it’s against the decrees of the church.
ML: [Making a big W on his forehead]. Whatever! Is priests being married the biggest deal in the world? I hope this whole Reformation thing wasn’t about that.
P3: No. But it’s the principle of the thing. We said “no” and you did it anyways.
ML: Again, sometimes it’s just easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
P3: We withhold our forgiveness.
ML: I can live with that. And I’m pretty sure I have the Bible on my side, but I doubt that would convince you, either.
P3: It would not. The Bible means what we say it means. The interpretation of one heretical monk in the boonies of northern Germany does not outweigh hundreds of years of pious saints and learned teachers of the church.
ML: So I’ve heard.
RP: Why are you here? You were not invited and you are definitely not on the guest list.
P3: Did Vergerio do this?
ML: No, I just wanted to talk.
RP: About what?
ML: About Jesus. That guy is awesome.
P3: We know that. We’re the Catholic Church.
ML: I know. It’s just that Jesus is still worth talking about together. Just because we disagree doesn’t mean we have to stop talking about Jesus.
P3: We have hardly stopped talking about Jesus.
ML: Okay. Then why was I excommunicated?
P3: For heresy.
ML: Heresy about Jesus?
P3: Dude, I don’t know. I wasn’t pope back then. Reggie, what did Luther get excommunicated for?
RP: Um, if I remember correctly, we said that his formulation of original sin came off a little strong to people. Same with his denial of free will: it made people feel really bad about themselves, or not bad enough, I forget. He also said that church councils and popes could make mistakes, that indulgences were misused at best and greedy abuses of church power at worse. He denied the church’s teachings about the sacrament of confession and about purgatory. He called you and your predecessors the Antichrist. Should I go on? Was there more?
ML: Nothing about Jesus, though?
RP: Not directly. But your mistakes on all these other things shows that you don’t really get what it means to belong to the church. Your zeal to reform the church of Christ put you outside the church of Christ.
ML: What could I have done differently?
RG: Submitted to the church.
ML: Not Jesus?
RP: What’s the difference?
ML: I feel like I’ve had this conversation before. Let me ask something else. What’s the deal with Latin?
P3: Bona litera! Good books, great philosophy, nice laws. What’s not to like?
RP: Latin helps us all talk together. I mean, you’re German, I’m English, he’s Italian. We’re all speaking Latin right now… obviously [smiles at audience]… how else would we be talking? Latin is like Esperanto, but it works.
P3: Latin just rolls of the tongue: Saltate quasi nemo vigilat.
ML: Dance like no one is watching?
RP: Just rolls off the tongue.
ML: I see. But what’s wrong with me translating the Bible into German for all those folks not blessed with half a lifetime to spend studying Latin?
RP: Just tell those folks they should take your word for it. If they disagree, ask them if they have a problem with Jesus and the one true church.
ML: But that’s just what you did to me.
P3: See, it works.
RP: Why would you want to bother with a Bible in German, anyways? I mean, let’s test this: how do you say “Dance as if no one is watching” in German?
ML: Tanze, als würde dir niemand zusehen.
P3: Not the same. Not even close.
RP: Even the English is better.
P3: Also, Jesus didn’t speak German.
ML: He didn’t speak Latin, either.
RP: Yes, but he was crucified in Latin.
ML: I’m not sure that helps your case. My point is that none of this stuff about Latin or me being married is what Christianity is all about.
P3: Dr. Luther, I wish you’d stop saying that. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m the pope. Is there something about Christianity that I may have missed?
ML: I couldn’t say that. I don’t know the state of your soul and the faith in your heart, any more than you know the state of my soul.
P3: Oh, we’re pretty sure we know the state of your soul.
RP: Pretty good guess.
ML: Fine, but I just want to know: where in all this is something about Christ taking on our human flesh and dying for sinners?
P3: Dr. Luther, the entire church, top to bottom, is about reaching people with the good news of Jesus.
ML: Okay. But back when I was a new monk, Pope Julius was starting wars in Italy. Where was Jesus in that? When I wanted to talk about indulgences and faith, where was Jesus when the hierarchy shut me down and threatened my life? When Melanchthon did his thing in Augsburg, and Emperor Charles fell asleep while we confessed our faith, where was the church’s interest in Jesus then?
P3: Dude, I wasn’t pope then. I’m not Pope Julius or Pope Leo or Emperor Charles. This is such old news.
RP: You’re still the one who destroyed the unity of the church, man. This is on you.
ML: Again, I think you give me too much credit. I’m no one. What is Luther? These ideas aren’t mine. I wasn’t crucified for anyone. I’m a poor stinking bag of maggots.
RP: Something we can agree on!
ML: I’m serious. I just wanted to talk. Maybe I’m just getting old and about to turn into worm food, but this stuff has mattered to me for a long time. You can do what you want with me. I’m ready to pull a Jan Huss. There I stood, I could do no other. I’m in your hands. Do with me as you wish.
[P3 and RG look at each other. They nod in agreement, then turn to Luther.]
P3: Tell you what. Why don’t you come hang out with the council. I know you weren’t invited, but you can be my guest. I think you’ll like it.
RP: We just invented seminaries!
ML: Cool! How about justification by faith alone? Worship services in German? New translations of the Bible?
P3: One thing at a time, my son. One thing at a time. It's not as if this will take 500 years to figure out.
ML: Now that would be crazy!
[They depart laughing. The narrator returns to the stage]
Narrator: This brings our imaginary Reformation to close. While we can’t really rewrite history, what we can do is treat other people the way we want to treated, one day at a time, even—and especially—when we talk about Jesus. Thank you for your attention. Amen.
Narrator: Way back before his excommunication, Luther had asked for a council of the church to discuss the need for reform. But for a lot of reasons, this didn’t happen. A tense political situation was partly responsible. Emperor Charles V and the king of Frances were often at war, getting in the way of a potential church council. Charles was also at war with the Turkish Ottoman Empire. King Henry VIII and the English Reformation of the 1530s further complicated things. In 1536, Pope Paul III himself called for a council but couldn’t get people together. The following scene, set in 1544, imagines what it was like trying to schedule a council of the church, as Pope Paul III (P3) goes over his calendar with papal nuncio Peter Paul Vergerio (Verg).
P3: Signor Vergerio! Thank you for coming to see me. How’s it going with that job I gave you?
Verg: Scheduling the council of the church? Terrible! I’m no closer now than I was ten years ago.
P3: That’s too bad. What’s the problem?
Verg: Do you remember the Thirties, when your eminence first became pope?
P3: Of course.
Verg: Back then, you invited all of Europe to come to a council.
P3: Very good of me, I thought.
Verg: Right. But King Henry of England was mad at Rome, Emperor Charles was fighting the Turks, the French were helping the Turks—just to stick it to Charles—and the Germans didn’t feel like trusting Italians right then.
P3: Stubborn Germans.
Verg: Yes, but I had a very nice visit with them.
P3: They make terrible wine.
Verg: I had the beer.
P3: Plebian swill.
Verg: Yes, your eminence. Anyways, the council didn’t happen. Do you remember what you did next?
P3: I said, “If they won’t come, then we’ll settle this ourselves. Executive orders!”
Verg: Exactly. You wanted an in-house reform program, setting a proactive agenda for the church to vote on and move ahead with.
P3: Another great idea of mine.
Verg: We commissioned some of our best cardinals: Reginald Pole, Contarini, Carafa, Aleander, Sadoleto.
P3: The best of the best: crème de la crème.
Verg: Yes, they identified several ways to clean up corruption all across the church.
P3: Brilliant!
Verg: They started with the papacy.
P3: Thanks, but no thanks!
Verg: Right. And then do you remember how those recommendations got leaked, and the Germans got hold of it, published the recommendations, embarrassed us tremendously, and trusted a council even less?
P3: I blame Luther.
Verg: Naturally, your eminence. Even so, Charles was still at war with France. Henry was starting to come back around but still liked doing things his own way in England. And don't even get me started on the Danes.
P3: Why are you telling me things I already know? So unpleasant.
Verg: I’m just answering your question about why I haven’t scheduled a council yet. It’s crazy hard! It’s been about a decade and I’m no closer now than when I started.
P3: Just send a “Doodle Pole.”
Verg: What’s that?
P3: It’s this new thing. First, get Michaelangelo or one of those guys to make a drawing of Cardinal Reginald Pole... he’s very popular. Next, you show it to all the leaders around Europe. You say: “Hey, everyone! We’re going to hold a church council. Reginald Pole is going to be there and he’s awesome. When can you come? Jot down some dates you’re available right next to this sublime doodle of Cardinal Pole.” It's that easy.
Verg: What a great use of technology!
P3: Just make it happen.
Verg: Yes, your eminence! I’ll get that Doodle Pole started right away!
Narrator: Pope Paul’s “Doodle Pole” must have worked. The Council of Trent was convened in December 1545. Before then, however, Vergerio was accused of heresy by the Inquisition and fled to the Protestants up north. (By that time, he felt like a real survey monkey.) When the council finally started in Trent, Italy, the church began to address the topics raised by the Reformation. It made practical reforms and set the tone for the Catholic Church for centuries to come. In early 1546 Martin Luther died in Germany shortly after the council had begun. He had not been invited. But what if Luther had attended? What if he had spoken with a pope? Our fictitious journey through the Reformation ends here, with Martin Luther and Pope Paul III hanging out together at the Council of Trent.
Scene 10: Martin Luther at the Council of Trent (1545)
Pope Paul III [P3] is talking with Reginald Pole [RP], reviewing some of the council’s decrees.
P3: Cardinal Pole, you’ve all been doing wonderful work so far in this council.
RP: Thank you, your holiness.
P3: Just look at this. We wanted a more educated clergy, and here you’ve invented seminaries for the priests. We wanted more priest in parishes, and you’ve come up with a way to make it happen. We wanted less corruption among church officials, and you’ve called that out, too, very tastefully [quietly] and without calling too much attention to the old oman-ray ontiff-pay. [Louder again] Well done!
RP: To God be the glory, sir. The delegates really have a great attitude. Everyone’s very much on the same page. I can’t imagine anything that might slow us down. Martin Luther [ML] enters.
RP: Speak of the devil!
ML: And Luther appears.
P3: Dr. Luther, you were not invited.
ML: Holy Father, I have learned that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission.
RP: We’ve had a very productive start to this council, Dr. Luther. Please don’t mess it up now.
ML: That’s the furthest thing from my mind, Reggie. It’s nice to see something finally happening. I mean... I brought this up about 25 years ago, but who am I to complain?
RP: Who are you to complain? You, Dr. Luther, are singlehandedly responsible for destroying the unity of the Catholic Church. You have led countless souls into heresy, error and damnation. You have inspired my homeland of England to abandon the true church, along with churches in Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Switzerland, Scotland, Poland, Latvia, Slovenia, and on and on. All of this is on your soul. God will judge.
ML: It's not God I'm worried about. And come on, Reggie. You’re giving me too much credit. How can I split Christendom when I’ve hardly been able to travel out of Wittenberg since you all made me a heretic. You know what weighs on my soul? Cabin fever. I wish I could have traveled more. I got one trip to Italy back when I was a monk and one trip to the Rhine River when was on trial at Worms, then “poof” I’m a heretic and stuck in Saxony. The wine is terrible.
RP: Good beer, though.
ML: Yes, thank heavens, my wife makes great beer.
P3: Speaking of your wife…
ML: That’s right, I got married. I like it. It suits me. Twenty years this June. I have wonderful children, a house full of family and friends, guests and students. We have a little farm and even a dumb family dog. It’s a good life. I highly recommend it.
RP: But it’s against the decrees of the church.
ML: [Making a big W on his forehead]. Whatever! Is priests being married the biggest deal in the world? I hope this whole Reformation thing wasn’t about that.
P3: No. But it’s the principle of the thing. We said “no” and you did it anyways.
ML: Again, sometimes it’s just easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
P3: We withhold our forgiveness.
ML: I can live with that. And I’m pretty sure I have the Bible on my side, but I doubt that would convince you, either.
P3: It would not. The Bible means what we say it means. The interpretation of one heretical monk in the boonies of northern Germany does not outweigh hundreds of years of pious saints and learned teachers of the church.
ML: So I’ve heard.
RP: Why are you here? You were not invited and you are definitely not on the guest list.
P3: Did Vergerio do this?
ML: No, I just wanted to talk.
RP: About what?
ML: About Jesus. That guy is awesome.
P3: We know that. We’re the Catholic Church.
ML: I know. It’s just that Jesus is still worth talking about together. Just because we disagree doesn’t mean we have to stop talking about Jesus.
P3: We have hardly stopped talking about Jesus.
ML: Okay. Then why was I excommunicated?
P3: For heresy.
ML: Heresy about Jesus?
P3: Dude, I don’t know. I wasn’t pope back then. Reggie, what did Luther get excommunicated for?
RP: Um, if I remember correctly, we said that his formulation of original sin came off a little strong to people. Same with his denial of free will: it made people feel really bad about themselves, or not bad enough, I forget. He also said that church councils and popes could make mistakes, that indulgences were misused at best and greedy abuses of church power at worse. He denied the church’s teachings about the sacrament of confession and about purgatory. He called you and your predecessors the Antichrist. Should I go on? Was there more?
ML: Nothing about Jesus, though?
RP: Not directly. But your mistakes on all these other things shows that you don’t really get what it means to belong to the church. Your zeal to reform the church of Christ put you outside the church of Christ.
ML: What could I have done differently?
RG: Submitted to the church.
ML: Not Jesus?
RP: What’s the difference?
ML: I feel like I’ve had this conversation before. Let me ask something else. What’s the deal with Latin?
P3: Bona litera! Good books, great philosophy, nice laws. What’s not to like?
RP: Latin helps us all talk together. I mean, you’re German, I’m English, he’s Italian. We’re all speaking Latin right now… obviously [smiles at audience]… how else would we be talking? Latin is like Esperanto, but it works.
P3: Latin just rolls of the tongue: Saltate quasi nemo vigilat.
ML: Dance like no one is watching?
RP: Just rolls off the tongue.
ML: I see. But what’s wrong with me translating the Bible into German for all those folks not blessed with half a lifetime to spend studying Latin?
RP: Just tell those folks they should take your word for it. If they disagree, ask them if they have a problem with Jesus and the one true church.
ML: But that’s just what you did to me.
P3: See, it works.
RP: Why would you want to bother with a Bible in German, anyways? I mean, let’s test this: how do you say “Dance as if no one is watching” in German?
ML: Tanze, als würde dir niemand zusehen.
P3: Not the same. Not even close.
RP: Even the English is better.
P3: Also, Jesus didn’t speak German.
ML: He didn’t speak Latin, either.
RP: Yes, but he was crucified in Latin.
ML: I’m not sure that helps your case. My point is that none of this stuff about Latin or me being married is what Christianity is all about.
P3: Dr. Luther, I wish you’d stop saying that. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m the pope. Is there something about Christianity that I may have missed?
ML: I couldn’t say that. I don’t know the state of your soul and the faith in your heart, any more than you know the state of my soul.
P3: Oh, we’re pretty sure we know the state of your soul.
RP: Pretty good guess.
ML: Fine, but I just want to know: where in all this is something about Christ taking on our human flesh and dying for sinners?
P3: Dr. Luther, the entire church, top to bottom, is about reaching people with the good news of Jesus.
ML: Okay. But back when I was a new monk, Pope Julius was starting wars in Italy. Where was Jesus in that? When I wanted to talk about indulgences and faith, where was Jesus when the hierarchy shut me down and threatened my life? When Melanchthon did his thing in Augsburg, and Emperor Charles fell asleep while we confessed our faith, where was the church’s interest in Jesus then?
P3: Dude, I wasn’t pope then. I’m not Pope Julius or Pope Leo or Emperor Charles. This is such old news.
RP: You’re still the one who destroyed the unity of the church, man. This is on you.
ML: Again, I think you give me too much credit. I’m no one. What is Luther? These ideas aren’t mine. I wasn’t crucified for anyone. I’m a poor stinking bag of maggots.
RP: Something we can agree on!
ML: I’m serious. I just wanted to talk. Maybe I’m just getting old and about to turn into worm food, but this stuff has mattered to me for a long time. You can do what you want with me. I’m ready to pull a Jan Huss. There I stood, I could do no other. I’m in your hands. Do with me as you wish.
[P3 and RG look at each other. They nod in agreement, then turn to Luther.]
P3: Tell you what. Why don’t you come hang out with the council. I know you weren’t invited, but you can be my guest. I think you’ll like it.
RP: We just invented seminaries!
ML: Cool! How about justification by faith alone? Worship services in German? New translations of the Bible?
P3: One thing at a time, my son. One thing at a time. It's not as if this will take 500 years to figure out.
ML: Now that would be crazy!
[They depart laughing. The narrator returns to the stage]
Narrator: This brings our imaginary Reformation to close. While we can’t really rewrite history, what we can do is treat other people the way we want to treated, one day at a time, even—and especially—when we talk about Jesus. Thank you for your attention. Amen.